- Written by Pastor Tim
Excuses to give your teacher when you don't do your homework.
- I didn't do my history homework because I don't believe in dwelling on the past.
- I didn't want the other kids in the class to look bad.
- A sudden gust of wind blew my homework out of my hand and I never saw it again.
- Another pupil fell in a lake and I jumped in to rescue him. Unfortunately, my homework drowned.
- Our furnace broke and we had to burn my homework to keep ourselves from freezing.
- I'm not at liberty to say why.
- I wanted to frame the detention letter you're about to give me.
- It was destroyed in a freak accident involving a hippo, a toaster, and a bag of frozen peas. You don't want to know the details.
- I have a solar-powered calculator, and it was cloudy.
- I made a paper plane out of it and it got hijacked.
- My mom used it as a dryer sheet.
- My agent won't allow me to publish my homework until the movie deal is finalized.
- It's against my religion to do any homework.
- I was abducted by green-skinned, three-eyed, pig-snouted space aliens, and they incinerated my homework with their death rays.
- I felt it wasn't challenging enough.
- My parents were sick and unable to do my homework last night. Don't worry, they have been suitably punished.
- We had homework?!
- I see your lips moving, but all I am hearing is "blah, blah, blah."
- I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload.
- I spent the night at a rally supporting higher pay for our hard-working teachers.
Why did the boy eat his homework?
Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.
What did the fishing rod say to the boat?
Canoe help me with my homework?
Why can't you do your calculus homework on a Friday night?
Because you can't drink and derive.
Why don't you do arithmetic homework in the jungle?
Because if you add 4+4 you get ate.
What did the dog say to his classmate?
"Can I copy your homework, I ate mine."
What did the cheerleader say when she was given more homework?
Bring It On.
What do you call a man who can do a years worth of homework in two weeks?
Why don't fish need to do homework?
Because they're always swimming in schools.
Why do people do homework?
Because it doesn't know how to do it itself.
Why can't you do homework faster than Rachael Leigh Cook?
Because "She's All That".
Dewey really have homework on the first day?
Howl we finish our homework on time?
Canoe help me with my home work.
My homework brings all the Asians to the yard, and they're like, "It wasn't that hard."
I would do my math homework, but I've already got my own problems.
I was a thirty something frat boy and I never had homework, but that was at my "Old School".
If school isn't a place to sleep then home isn't a place to study.
I wanted to turn in my bartending homework, but I was absinthe.
Biology Teacher: "Students, what does the chiken give you?"
Student(s): Eggs and Meat!
Teacher: "Great! What dose the pig give you?"
Teacher: "Excellent! Now what does the fat cow give you?"
SCHOOL: 2 + 2 = 4.
HOMEWORK: 2 + 4 + 2 = 8.
EXAM: Matthew has 4 apples, his train is 7 minutes early, calculate the sun's mass.
What do pigs give you?
What do goats give you?
What do cows give you?
Teacher says to little Mary, "I want you draw a picture of a house"
Little Mary says "That must be my HOMEwork"
The teacher asks, "Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?"
Flora blushes and says, "That's disgusting, I won't even answer that question."
The teacher calls on Johnny: "What part of the human body increases ten times when excited?"
"That's easy," says Johnny. "It's the pupil of the eye."
"Very good, Johnny," responds the teacher. "That's correct."
She then turns to Flora and says, "First, you didn't do your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, you're in for a BIG disappointment."
One day I went into school all puzzled and said to my teacher "Miss will i get into trouble for something i havent done ?"
She said "No why"
I said " Because I havent done my homework.
Pick Up Lines
I wish I was your calculus homework, because then I'd be hard and you'd be doing me on your desk.
If you were my homework Id do you all over my desk
Is your name homework? 'Cause I'm not doing you, but I should be.